De como he acabado en este pueblo de Baviera/ How I ended in this bavarian town

2 Oct

Era un caluroso dia de verano, en Las Vegas. Habiamos ido a jugarnos toda la pasta, pues mi maridin habia realizado muchos estudios matematicos sobre como enriquecerse con el juego.

Estabamos jugando al Black Jack (yo me habia puesto un vestido negro con escote de vertigo, para dar suerte a mi Borja, asi se llama mi señor fiel esposo), pero de momento los calculos del Borja no estaban surtiendo efecto…

Entonces hubo un señor que quiso hacerme algun tipo de proposicion deshonesta (el vestido con escote de vertigo, que es lo que tiene) y antes de que sus palabras pudieran insultarme, me excuse para ir al “loo” (a los servicios en ingles del fino, vamos).

Una vez dentro del retrete, escuche gritos. Como buena peliculera (he visto muchas peliculas), me subi a la taza del vater, para que no se vieran mis pies desde el otro lado de la puerta. Y asi, media encogida, me dispuse a mirar por la rendija que quedaba abierta en la parte de arriba. Se trataba de una mujer discutiendo con un hombre (por las pintas, debia ser su chulo, pero de alto standing pues mi vestido negro de gran escote no era nada comparado el vestido Balenciaga (vintage) que ella llevaba, haciendo perfecto juego con sus fantasticos zapatos Manolo Blanik (para quien no lo sepa, es un diseñador de la isla de la Palma).

Ellos estaban discutiendo, era algo sobre dinero (¿o tal vez drogas?). Quizas ella no se queria acostar con un pez gordo RRRUSSOO que andaba por alli… Y entre tanto forcejeo, la apuñalo. LA APUÑALO!! SI!!

Yo estaba como un flan, temblando, llorando, histerica… Entonces entro la pandilla (vamos, los esbirros del pez gordo), hablando una especie de polaco (debian de decir algo como: “¿¿que mierdas ha pasado aqui??” Y vi como envolvian el cadaver de la chica en unas mantas y se la llevaban para a fuera…

Espere un poco antes de salir del baño y busque rapidamente a mi Borja. El pobre, estaba intentandolo con las tragaperras, pues el black Jack no le habia dado una buena mano. Le explique todo.

Finalmente acabamos en las oficinas del FBI, en las que, segun mis descripciones, llegaron a la conclusion de que el pez gordo que les describia eran tan gordo que casi llegaba a ballena, y decidieron cambiarnos los nombres y enviarnos a este pueblecito rural en Baviera.

Ahora yo soy Manuela y mi marido es Borja (en realidad no se llamaba Borja antes, pero tampoco os queria contar su nombre…).

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It was a very hot summer day, in Las Vegas (USA). We had decided to go there, in order  to play all our money, so my husband had made lot of mathematics studios, about how to make good money with the game.

In that moment, we were playing “Black Jack” (I was wearing my amazing black drees, with that great cleavage, so as to give good luck to my Borja, that is the name of my husband), but at the moment, the studios were not effective at all, and we were losing money.

Then, the man who was next to me, seemed to want to make me a dishonest proposicion, and before he could just try to insult me (that is the effect of my great cleavage black dress), I decided to go to the loo.

Once I was inside the toilet, I listened a scream. As I have seen lot of films, I climbed to the water, so as they could not see my feet from behind the door. And that was the way as I could see everything from the up side. I could see a woman arguing with a man (for the way they looked, I can imagine he was the pimp, and she was a kind of prostitute, but high standing I figured up, because my amazing black dress, was nothing compared to the Balenciaga (vintage) dress, and the Manolo Blannik shoes she was wearing.

I think they were arguing about money, (or maybe drugs?). Perhaps she did not want to sleep with a russian rich man who was over there. They were finally fighting, and in the struggle, she was stabbed by the man.

I was very nervous, practically hysterical… Then the rest of the gang appeared, they were talking a kind of polish (they probably were saying: “What the hell is going..??” And the next I remember, was like they were covering the body with blankets, and taking her outside…

I waited for a while, before going out the toilet, and looked for Borja quickly. My poor husband was trying with the slot machines, so the luck with the Black Jack had not been good enough with him. I explained him everything.

Finally, we ended in the FBI offices, where they arribed to the conclusion that the man I was describing, was a very influential man in Las Vegas. The FBI decided that, at the moment, we had to change our names, and move in this little town in Bavaria.

Now my new name is Manuela, and my husband is Borja (yes, Borja is not his true name, but I have never wanted to tell you his real name).

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2 comentarios to “De como he acabado en este pueblo de Baviera/ How I ended in this bavarian town”

  1. PatriMartín 2 de noviembre de 2012 a 20:23 #

    Por cosas como éstas dicen que el juego no es bueno… psss

    • stuffensincliff 2 de noviembre de 2012 a 20:30 #

      Jajaja. Bien cierto… Ademas de los peligros de volverse ludopata…

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